Almost 2 months ago, I moved my from safe haven of St. Louis to Southeast Texas. There were several reasons for the move, a large part to start a life for myself. One week after I got here, Hurricane Harvey hit with a fury. And stayed for days, dropping unheard of amounts of rain on us. 50+ inches in a matter of days, typically the rainfall amount for a whole year. This was not in my plans when I moved.
Needless to say, with that amount of water, there was flooding. And a lot of it. The house I moved into was sitting, for days, with 5+ feet of water in it. It’s hard to save anything with that amount of water. And with the lovely humidity of southeast Texas, mold grew fast and in abundance.
41 years of my life, out on the curb like everyday trash. This has hit me in waves. The day everything went to the curb, roughly 3 weeks after the storm, the enormity of it hit me. I knew I had more than likely lost everything. Knowing it and seeing it are two totally different things. Moving your life from your home to the side of the road, it takes a toll on you. Anyone with Fibro knows that stress only does bad things for the body. And stress was my normal for weeks. My last post was in the midst of a massive flare up. Depression and feelings of defeat were kicking my ass. Today, I’m feeling better.
How does one rebuild? Where does one start? There’s no right answer. Life Post-Harvey has been anything but easy. Fighting with my body and my brain has been difficult. I am blessed to have very supportive friends and family helping me along the way. Lucky to be loved by the people in my life. I know dealing with me has had to be a task for most people. I’ve never been in this position. I’ve never lost everything before. I don’t know how to feel. I feel guilty because I have a place to stay, where I’m safe and comfortable. I see my friends struggling. It hurts me like nothing ever has. I want to make it all better for everyone. I can’t. I know this. And accepting that has been hard.
I miss my St Louis people. Sometimes I miss my St Louis life. I knew what to expect there. I knew what my days would be like. I knew what my life was there. I’m still adjusting here. I do not regret the choice I made. And being this trial by fire has been an experience I never needed. But I’m going to grow from this. I am extremely appreciative of everything I do have. And more so for the people I have.
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